Funny In-game mails

DeletedUser6616

Guest
I knew they put it 2 weeks apart for a reason o:

I guess our tactic is foiled.

Your tactic? I thought I was the only one who had thought of this devious and cunning idea!

Guess we are all rumbled now!
 
Last edited by a moderator:

DeletedUser

Guest
I thought this was rather funny!!!

onetruth on 07.03. at 18:36
I am highly amused by your futile attempts to steal my resources. Keep trying!

littledaveyboy on 07.03. at 18:46
lol. what a fool, I know I can't farm you yet due to your hiding place but I can make sure you never have enough troops to defend yourself. lol.

I was going to leave you alone but now I will hit you twice a day and kill all your troops of. you might as well restart now mate. sorry.

onetruth on 08.03. at 08:26
darn, you noticed my hiding place. :D . i sent a similar "taunting" mail to someone else - he has upped his rate of attack much to my joy! i will be restarting, in about a months time. in the meantime, i am greatful for the attacks as my paladin is getting a nice head-start in his search for items...

good hunting.

btw: are you the same littledavyboy from the public forums?

littledaveyboy on 08.03. at 10:11
maybe!
 

DeletedUser1508

Guest
Lots of it, but read it all. If you don't I will find you in the afterlife and kill you. Wait....

callumptoday at 07:58 said:


Dear Reduaram

My name is Callump. I am one of the experianced players of kgm the game but at the start I was fortunate to have joined an active tribe of experienced players who are from W1, W4 & .net.

I noticed your profile, points and location. You are obviously a reasonably active player in the continent and as such, although our recruitment is currently restricted, you are a potential asset to the tribe.

Who are we - We are the historically acclaimed tribe KINGDOM. WE intend to become number one tribe in world four and STAY there. We believe in cooperation and a relaxed environment yet still having that competative edge.

WE are founded with strong and experienced players who have big plans with this world. With this in mind I would ask you to have a look at the tribes profile and if you interested then get back to me and I will arrange an invite for you.

Grow and become strong with the Kingdom behind your back

Yours truly

Callump

p.s If you are in world 1 look at the names shivastic (along thoes lines spelling wise)

Kaelic

Elfazzo

me I just got nobled by W1N but we have now let W1N into our W4 branch so we hope you do join us


Funniest thing is, I have cleared and been farming him for a while now. Maybe his last resort of defence?
 

DeletedUser

Guest
Lots of it, but read it all. If you don't I will find you in the afterlife and kill you. Wait....




Funniest thing is, I have cleared and been farming him for a while now. Maybe his last resort of defence?


Probably...it happens a lot to be honest...if you clear a leader or even an ordinary guy and you aren't in a "big" tribe,then you get invited to the guy's tribe who you cleared.The noobs :lol: .
 

DeletedUser

Guest
We send this to all our "victims". Only one has had the decency to reply in uk4. It's amazing how ungrateful some people can be.



Here at The Scarecrow Awakes we take great pride in the quality of our village clearing service.

We want to be sure that you, the beneficiary of our bloody and very probably unprovoked attack, are 100% satisfied with the offensive provided. Nothing is more important to The Scarecrow Awakes than your suffering and every effort will be made to ensure that your visceration is deeply unpleasant, hideously painful, devilishly cruel and extremely blood thirsty. Nothing else is acceptable to us.

In order to maintain our hideously sadistic yet impeccably high standards we would be grateful if you could take a few minutes to complete our post-attack questionnaire.

Your responses are extremely valuable to us and we always ensure that constructive criticism is taken on board and fully utilised in future offensives against you and others.

Thank you for taking the time to complete this questionnaire, we appreciate that this must be a very difficult time for you and your bereaved.

The Scarecrow Awakes

1 How unexpected was our attack on your village?

a) It was the last thing in the world I had anticipated, especially as we are personal allies and in the same tribe
b) Very unexpected, I thought we had an understanding, I trusted you and you threw that trust back in my face. I feel jilted, scorned and hurt.
c) Not unexpected, Scarecrows need farms and farms need Scarecrows
d) I’m amazed it took so long, where heve you been all this time?

2 How effective was our attack?

a) Goodbye cruel TW World, I’ve quit
b) Reducing my barracks to rubble has left me a tad short staffed. Nevertheless, I fully intend to fight to the bitter and, presumably, gruesome end
c) Honours even, it was nice to measure how quickly your LC can limp as they made their weary way home
d) The tears are welling up in my eyes. Tears of love and gratitude for my wonderful tribe mates. You weren't expecting that level of support were you? Go away and lick your wounds
e)Stitch that you mother, that'll teach you not to Awake The Turtle

3 Our Army/Armies - On a scale of 1 to 5 where 5 is excellent, please rate the effectiveness of our troops

a) Axemen
b) Scouts
c) Light Cavalry
d) Mounted Archers
e) Rams
f) Catapults

4 Brutality – Please choose one word from the list below to best describe the mindless brutality of our troops

a) Evil
b) Ruthless
c) Laxidaisical
d) Pussy cats
e) Chav scum
f) Mindless and brutal both sum it up nicely
g) Other...please state your preferred word

5 How effective were our catapults and rams (Please consult your masons and carpenters before responding to the this question)

a) Awesome, next time I need a demolition expert, I’ll know who to contact
b) My masons and carpenters are too busy to consult with me and are demanding overtime rates
c) We’ll get over the damage to our wall but are planning to ensure that you don’t
d) Gotta love that Paladin’s catapult item
e) Did somebody feel a slight breeze?

6 To what extent are you anticipating further visits from The Scarecrow Awakes?

a) Errr, we’ve got incoming from you already so it would seem to be our fate, we’ll get the kettle on and hide the women again
b) We’re watching and waiting 24/7
c) We’re quietly confident that you’ll turn your attention elsewhere
d) Now that you’ve taken up residence, what are you going to call my old village?

7 Where will you be restarting?
a) The rim
b) Another world
c) I won’t be restarting, I’ve learned my lesson………………

Additional Comments

We want to be sure that you are 100% satisfied with the slaughtering we deliver to you and your villagers. Is there anything we can do to improve our current offering? Please comment in the space below:



Copyright: The Scarecrow Awakes
 

DeletedUser

Guest
Your Scary mr Scarecrow! Please post the replies, so we can see how well your doing. lol. Keep up the good work.
 

DeletedUser

Guest
The Gettysburg Saint today at 01:02
So is playing tribal wars and crying about me attacking you.

Grilled Cat today at 01:01
:D lol farmville,i hate that game its gay:D

The Gettysburg Saint today at 01:00
Its tribal WARS. If you don't like it go play farmville.

Or you could just restart. I wouldn't feel safe around here anyway.

Grilled Cat today at 00:59
wow,nice reasons:D


The Gettysburg Saint on 15.03. at 00:25
In the future, will you please hide more of the clay and less of the wood. Haha I need more wood.


The Gettysburg Saint on 14.03. at 23:42
Because you have low defense and alot of resources. Why did you get kicked out of theory?


Grilled Cat on 14.03. at 23:41
why do u keep attacking me?

It doesn't pay to be inside my church radius (or right outside either)
 

DeletedUser

Guest
LMFAO
I love that,
Do you mind if I copy or copy and ammend?

We send this to all our "victims". Only one has had the decency to reply in uk4. It's amazing how ungrateful some people can be.



Here at The Scarecrow Awakes we take great pride in the quality of our village clearing service.

We want to be sure that you, the beneficiary of our bloody and very probably unprovoked attack, are 100% satisfied with the offensive provided. Nothing is more important to The Scarecrow Awakes than your suffering and every effort will be made to ensure that your visceration is deeply unpleasant, hideously painful, devilishly cruel and extremely blood thirsty. Nothing else is acceptable to us.

In order to maintain our hideously sadistic yet impeccably high standards we would be grateful if you could take a few minutes to complete our post-attack questionnaire.

Your responses are extremely valuable to us and we always ensure that constructive criticism is taken on board and fully utilised in future offensives against you and others.

Thank you for taking the time to complete this questionnaire, we appreciate that this must be a very difficult time for you and your bereaved.

The Scarecrow Awakes

1 How unexpected was our attack on your village?

a) It was the last thing in the world I had anticipated, especially as we are personal allies and in the same tribe
b) Very unexpected, I thought we had an understanding, I trusted you and you threw that trust back in my face. I feel jilted, scorned and hurt.
c) Not unexpected, Scarecrows need farms and farms need Scarecrows
d) I’m amazed it took so long, where heve you been all this time?

2 How effective was our attack?

a) Goodbye cruel TW World, I’ve quit
b) Reducing my barracks to rubble has left me a tad short staffed. Nevertheless, I fully intend to fight to the bitter and, presumably, gruesome end
c) Honours even, it was nice to measure how quickly your LC can limp as they made their weary way home
d) The tears are welling up in my eyes. Tears of love and gratitude for my wonderful tribe mates. You weren't expecting that level of support were you? Go away and lick your wounds
e)Stitch that you mother, that'll teach you not to Awake The Turtle

3 Our Army/Armies - On a scale of 1 to 5 where 5 is excellent, please rate the effectiveness of our troops

a) Axemen
b) Scouts
c) Light Cavalry
d) Mounted Archers
e) Rams
f) Catapults

4 Brutality – Please choose one word from the list below to best describe the mindless brutality of our troops

a) Evil
b) Ruthless
c) Laxidaisical
d) Pussy cats
e) Chav scum
f) Mindless and brutal both sum it up nicely
g) Other...please state your preferred word

5 How effective were our catapults and rams (Please consult your masons and carpenters before responding to the this question)

a) Awesome, next time I need a demolition expert, I’ll know who to contact
b) My masons and carpenters are too busy to consult with me and are demanding overtime rates
c) We’ll get over the damage to our wall but are planning to ensure that you don’t
d) Gotta love that Paladin’s catapult item
e) Did somebody feel a slight breeze?

6 To what extent are you anticipating further visits from The Scarecrow Awakes?

a) Errr, we’ve got incoming from you already so it would seem to be our fate, we’ll get the kettle on and hide the women again
b) We’re watching and waiting 24/7
c) We’re quietly confident that you’ll turn your attention elsewhere
d) Now that you’ve taken up residence, what are you going to call my old village?

7 Where will you be restarting?
a) The rim
b) Another world
c) I won’t be restarting, I’ve learned my lesson………………

Additional Comments

We want to be sure that you are 100% satisfied with the slaughtering we deliver to you and your villagers. Is there anything we can do to improve our current offering? Please comment in the space below:



Copyright: The Scarecrow Awakes
 
Last edited by a moderator:

DeletedUser

Guest
LMFAO
I love that,
Do you mind if I copy or copy and ammend?

Please free to copy and amend with impunity but a small acknowledgement would be appreciated. Just in small print "Based on an original idea by The Scarecrow Awakes".

Let me know if you come up with any juicy additions. As you will gather, constructive criticism is always welcomed here at The Scarecrow Awakes.

Scarecrow.
 

DeletedUser

Guest
SexySmurf today at 17:22
I was wondering... would T*U*D be interesting in becoming iHates academy? We at Window are planning to rejoin them later on, but in the mean time, [ally]iHate[/ally] really do a recruitment base center.

The Pizza Guy today at 22:50
no.



:( damn
 

DeletedUser4389

Guest
Lots of it, but read it all. If you don't I will find you in the afterlife and kill you. Wait....


Originally Posted by callumptoday at 07:58


Dear Reduaram

My name is Callump. I am one of the experianced players of kgm the game but at the start I was fortunate to have joined an active tribe of experienced players who are from W1, W4 & .net.

I noticed your profile, points and location. You are obviously a reasonably active player in the continent and as such, although our recruitment is currently restricted, you are a potential asset to the tribe.

Who are we - We are the historically acclaimed tribe KINGDOM. WE intend to become number one tribe in world four and STAY there. We believe in cooperation and a relaxed environment yet still having that competative edge.

WE are founded with strong and experienced players who have big plans with this world. With this in mind I would ask you to have a look at the tribes profile and if you interested then get back to me and I will arrange an invite for you.

Grow and become strong with the Kingdom behind your back

Yours truly

Callump

p.s If you are in world 1 look at the names shivastic (along thoes lines spelling wise)

Kaelic

Elfazzo

me I just got nobled by W1N but we have now let W1N into our W4 branch so we hope you do join us



Funniest thing is, I have cleared and been farming him for a while now. Maybe his last resort of defence?



Is it wrong to be totally embarassed by the ending of that mail?
 

DeletedUser6775

Guest
Armarda on 09.03. at 14:06
You have had your chance now. You will not be getting anymore resources off me. I will be shipping it out. Thanks n00b.

damosk8ss on 09.03. at 14:09
you lost the game

Armarda on 09.03. at 18:18
noob you got nothing.
You will get nothing.

damosk8ss on 09.03. at 20:34
want a hug?

Armarda on 09.03. at 20:42
2 hrs to get nothing.

damosk8ss on 09.03. at 20:48
its not all ways about what you bring home and you are calling me the noob?

Armarda on 09.03. at 21:55
I know. I guess you have the upper hand at the moment but i have been here before on 2 worlds and managed to come back and take out the ones who started on me. As i said please attack me as i know i am more active than you and while you have the advantage now i will soon catch up.
Enjoy while you can.

damosk8ss on 09.03. at 21:57
you are not more active! if you was i would not have been able to farm you today...

Im getting broad of this now.

Armarda on 09.03. at 22:33
yes me to. Go and bore someone else n00b.

damosk8ss on 09.03. at 22:37
look its takes you over 30 min to reply, your not very active and a poor player also. I will ram/cat your village into the ground

END OF

you lost the game

Armarda on 10.03. at 08:17
bore someone else

Armarda on 10.03. at 10:04
nothing again.

damosk8ss on 10.03. at 10:14
and your tell me to bore some one else? go learn to play the game properly

Armarda on 10.03. at 14:59
this is fun. Nothing again. I shipped out my resources.

damosk8ss on 10.03. at 15:02
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Armarda on 10.03. at 23:28
nothing

damosk8ss on 11.03. at 05:01
you keep mailing me this. why? look at my point my attacks on you are not stopping my growth i have other troops doing my farming.

Armarda on 11.03. at 07:47
Your attacks on you are not stopping my growth either.

Armarda on 11.03. at 09:59
noobs never learn.

damosk8ss on 11.03. at 10:01
you talking about yourself ?

damosk8ss on 11.03. at 10:10
look your doing poor on world 1 and now your doing poor w4... just look at the stats we have been on this world the same amount of time but yet i have 3 x more points and a hell of a lot more troops.

do you really want to play this game? your the noob here not me

Armarda on 11.03. at 10:38
so you are either interested in my W1 activity because you are nosy or you are someone from W! who we kicked and is now frustrated with it. Get over it boy.

damosk8ss on 11.03. at 10:47
you really are a noob

damosk8ss on 12.03. at 11:38
so you sure you dont want to just re start?

Armarda on 12.03. at 12:00
No n00b i don't. What have you done? Nothing. You have no Nobles and by the time you get them my friends will be giving you a slap. Once again you are doing nothing and getting nothing. Keep attacking as it really helps me out. You destroy the market and its up and running in 30mins, same with everything else.
You lost 3 troops and got nothing. One day you will attack and i will be stacked and then you will have nothing. Now go and bore someone else with you n00b attacks. Thing is you are hitting the wrong thing to hurt me so that tells me you are just a n00b who had a quicker start. We shall see.

damosk8ss on 12.03. at 17:16
LOL

Armarda on 12.03. at 17:56
smile

The village has now been sat at less than 300 points for some time and now catted down too 214 points. im just catting the village to death now :icon_twisted:

Village Headquarters (Level 1)
Barracks (Level 4)
First church (Level 1)
Rally point (Level 1)
Statue (Level 1)
Market (Level 3)
Timber camp (Level 7)
Clay pit (Level 11)
Iron mine (Level 10)
Farm (Level 3)
Warehouse (Level 3)
Hiding place (Level 10)

http://uk.twstats.com/uk4/index.php?page=player&fi=1&id=56942
 

DeletedUser6756

Guest
lol well i got a keeper a real cheeeeeesy come back and i even invited him to prove me wrong :icon_twisted:

Col-dras today at 17:31
thanks for threatining one of my members you will have visitors in a weeks time where hopefully by then you will hav a paladin or barracks

im a ODA whore and so far hit nothing but paladins please be my first to build troops :p

Bond
Duke of [ally]Xdream[/ally]

dont worry im not a 36 pointer throwing my weight around i walk the walk

a week max :p

v iRush xX today at 19:57
lmao Geek 8-|
you may be able to beat me at a game?
bet thats a real keeper for the girls ey mate? lmao!

Col-dras today at 19:58
lol you dont know me in real life ;) have you got facebook might wanna hit me up and just look at my pics ;P HAHA real cheap
 

DeletedUser

Guest
Please free to copy and amend with impunity but a small acknowledgement would be appreciated. Just in small print "Based on an original idea by The Scarecrow Awakes".

Let me know if you come up with any juicy additions. As you will gather, constructive criticism is always welcomed here at The Scarecrow Awakes.

Scarecrow.

lol, yep will do...nothing as yet though. but knowing me, ill drop afew subs in there somewhere ;)




col-dras...errmm...pffft...no comment
 

DeletedUser

Guest
I love it when players offer themselves for sacrifice as an attempt to recuperate

Willis Macoy on 15.03. at 15:31
thought you'd get more resources then you actually did ?

pity i came back hay?

hotitup on 15.03. at 15:33
and do you think taunting will make your situation any better?

Willis Macoy on 15.03. at 15:39
do i care if it don't?

who said i was taunting just making a observation......

guess ya ganna try cats and rams next ..... now i'ma taunting .... well time to get back to my girl you know to get laid something you may know nothing about

hotitup on 15.03. at 15:47
If I didnt expect some sort of dodge attepmt I would have sent a bigger farming party.
Your "assumption" was incorrect

I know how to deal with children like you, as I have one myslef

btw, four fingers and a thumb is not four limbs and a head

Willis Macoy on 15.03. at 17:06
lol nice funny that ........ geez you must be old mister sorry i bother you ............. well tbh idc about the game so farm away ..... just wasting time while we find out what's ganna happen

hotitup on 16.03. at 08:48
And feel as young as I was centuries ago.
I smile happily when I see my "birth" certificate.

Willis Macoy on 16.03. at 14:03
well congratulations thats nice to know ..... i think

hotitup on 16.03. at 15:27
dont worry, your safe
you dont know who, where or what I am, so your death would benifit me with nothing.

Willis Macoy on 16.03. at 15:43
who said i was talking about my death .... i was talking about my sister

Willis Macoy on 16.03. at 15:51
and besides i got a deal for ya take it or leave it i'll be restarting in like a week/2 i'll make nice res camps for ya ....... so technically my death will benefit ya

i need to get a certain amount of points once i get them i'll restart and you never hear from me again not to mention i'll make some nice res camps for ya to farm away

hotitup on 16.03. at 16:10
hehe

hmmm, interesting...
why play for a week/2 to restart?

Willis Macoy on 16.03. at 16:52
boredom ..... lol i like to make good farms
 

DeletedUser

Guest
[clt]I'll miss him when hes gone...[/clt]

bobbyfet.jpg
 
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