Should Terminally Ill children be told they are dying.

DeletedUser

Guest
'She had four years of being a normal teenager, not four years of fear and dread.'

This sums it up for me, I think it should ultimately be the parent's decision whether to tell their child. I wouldn't want to comment on whether it was right or wrong because it is such a tragic story and very touching.

I'm just glad she had the years as a normal teenager and not living in fear and dread, like the quote says.
 

DeletedUser

Guest
I agree with Xclude, it's the persons who are closest to them who should decide.

If I was about to die, I know I'd rather know. Because I know I'd live my life normally, or atleast do my best, and feel betrayed if they wouldn't tell me.
 

DeletedUser

Guest
They have the right to know, end of. Like TwoFace, I'd rather know so I could live my last days to the full.
 

DeletedUser

Guest
I think this could be a very controversial topic but i believe that it is a doctors DUTY to tell the child, my dad is a doctor and he has told me how he has been told not to tell one of his patients he was going to die and he said it was the hardest thing he ever had to do.

So yeah, i think everyone has a right to know
 

DeletedUser

Guest
Waca Pacman said:
So yeah, i think everyone has a right to know
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But we are talking about a 12 year old child here. I suppose it depends on each individual case. If a parent/doctor feels the child is mature enough to receive the news then perhaps it is better to tell them. Every case should be treated individually in my opinion based on the childs mental maturity and persona.
 

DeletedUser2765

Guest
I personally would not tell my child they were dieing. Such an effect on a child at an early age would create so much misery for them. No... I'd rather have them live their life as a normal child until it became clear it was time to tell them. Plus death "predictions" can be so off today, people can be expected to live only a year and yet live another ten. How would you explain to your child if they lived ten years after they were supposed to die (if you told them they were going to die)?
 

DeletedUser

Guest
Rofl, if I were ever told I was dieing, I would probably just be relaxing instead of worrying about my future.

If I found out my mom or dad held this info from me... Well I'd be leaving them shortly. There are some things, like the longevity of their own life, that children should know.
 

DeletedUser2765

Guest
Alex. said:
Rofl, if I were ever told I was dieing, I would probably just be relaxing instead of worrying about my future.

If I found out my mom or dad held this info from me... Well I'd be leaving them shortly. There are some things, like the longevity of their own life, that children should know.
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How old are you? Are you 2-12 yrs old? Unless my child was old enough, I would not discuss the possibility of their death with them.
 

DeletedUser

Guest
Kriegselend said:
How old are you? Are you 2-12 yrs old? Unless my child was old enough, I would not discuss the possibility of their death with them.
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Age =/= Maturity.

Which doesn't matter, any human should know if they only have a few years left.
 

DeletedUser

Guest
People deserve the right to know they are dieing if they are dieing. (period)

If the person is going to take pity on them self for it, it's their own fault if they don't live their life to the fullest.


*I would be soo mad if I didn't know I was on a limited life span, and died before I got to do things I wish to do.
 

DeletedUser

Guest
Self-conscious people I would not tell. But it also depends on how long they have to live. But I think it is the person’s right to know when they are dying, but some people think different, some people do not want to put that fear of dying on another. Some can have consequences, some good and some bad.
 

DeletedUser

Guest
I agree with PW. If the person was a hypochondriac, I would not tell them. Otherwise I probably would tell them.
 

DeletedUser

Guest
It all really depends on the strength of the person who is dieing.
 

DeletedUser

Guest
Well yeah, if someone is mentally retarded, imo a lot of them get their lives run 100% for them by others, they may not be fit to tell.

But even if it's just a little kid(mentally stable), they need to know they won't make it very long.
 

DeletedUser

Guest
Alex. said:
Well yeah, if someone is mentally retarded, imo a lot of them get their lives run 100% for them by others, they may not be fit to tell.

But even if it's just a little kid(mentally stable), they need to know they won't make it very long.
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In some cases I would actually argue the exact opposite.
First, mentally retarded people, while they do get their lives run for them almost 100% of the time by other people, often have more fulfilling lives than everyone else. I think that they deserve to know that their life will not continue much longer, despite the fact that they probably will not understand what that means.
Second, mentally stable kids could become destabilized if informed that they will soon die.

I don't know about you, but I would be pretty traumatized if I was told out of the blue that I am going to die in 5 weeks.
 

DeletedUser

Guest
Alex. said:
Well yeah, if someone is mentally retarded, imo a lot of them get their lives run 100% for them by others, they may not be fit to tell.

But even if it's just a little kid(mentally stable), they need to know they won't make it very long.
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That comment is a whole new issue in itself. People with learning difficulties should not have their lives run by others 100% atall . They also are entitled to make choices about their own life and be supported in them and whatever people think of how ever severe their learning difficulty it is possible to lead an independent life with support. But I'll start another topic on that sometime maybe.

As for should children be told they are terminally ill. I think it should be for the main carer to decide , It depends heavily on the childs age and maturity but the child should also recieve and assesment to confirm the carer is acting in the best interests of the child.
Its a very tricky situation when other family members including absent fathers aren't told their own child is about to die.
I think the right to know is not necassarily best, lots of people after years/months of a quality life living in ignorance may wish they hadn't known if they had been told.
Personally from a siblings point of view I would be overcome with guilt and resentment if my parents hadn't told me my sister was dying. Naturally siblings argue and it can get quite heated ,thats a lot of guilt when your sibling dies prematurely and you hadn't had time to repair and enjoy your final years together but on the other side of the coin that also would depend on the age and maturity of the sibling .
I asked my 12 year old this question and he actually said he wouldn't like to know if he was dying.
On the other hand I'm sure if I asked my 13 year old daughter I'm sure she would like to know .

I am very open with my children , I have a disabled daughter who has nearly died on numerous occasions and despite her learning disabilities I would be open with her and her sisters and brothers but I think finding out at at birth/shortly after is very different to finding out your child is going to die at 13 and also it depends on how long the doctors give your child... even if this isnt accurate .

I think if you are told at birth your child wont live past 20 then you have a responsibility to be open with the child about that and children are very good at handling that if its discussed from a young age.
If told at 13 however the reaction could be completely different.

For anyone this is a very difficult decision to make , personally I don't know how the mother in the article kept it together , everytime my kids argued I would have fell apart .

I think the main carer should make the choice whether to tell but along with an assessment to ensure the carer is acting in the childs best interest and that any absent fathers /family are not uniformed just to spite them .

Lisa <3
 
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DeletedUser

Guest
If you are dying Alex, you're not going to be mentally stable.
 

DeletedUser

Guest
Poetic Watermellon said:
If you are dying Alex, you're not going to be mentally stable.
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........Depending on the disease, yes.

However, holding back information that quite literally means the world from a dieing person is not only extremely evil, but could quite possibly drive a person insane from rage when you happen to get the guts to say 'Oh yeah, you're going to die tomorrow, sorry i didn't tell you earlier'. Everyone should have the liberty of knowing that their time is limited, so they can actually do what they want instead of planning for a future they will never have.
 
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