DeletedUser857
Guest
As of when I can be bothered, I will be writing a weekly newsletter for this world.
However, to make this more interesting I will need some contributors to help me along.
If you are interested in applying to become a writer for this, please mail me with an example of your writing. Examples can be anything- but bare in mind the more humorous the better.
Below is an example of my writing - a short speech on Dumb TV in the UK
Again, please mail me with an example of your writing, and your Skype.
Thanks,
Sweetdeath
However, to make this more interesting I will need some contributors to help me along.
If you are interested in applying to become a writer for this, please mail me with an example of your writing. Examples can be anything- but bare in mind the more humorous the better.
Below is an example of my writing - a short speech on Dumb TV in the UK
Why do we like dumb TV? Picture the scene. A fat person sinks into their sofa, a languid hand reaching for the remote. The air is thick with the smell of smoke, sweat and middle age. All around the UK Dumb TV’s target audience settle down for their brainless viewing. All in the name of research of course, I threw caution to the wind and switched on the TV to sample some of this display of mediocrity. Immediately my senses were assaulted with the sound of screeching voices and the vision of spotty chavs. ‘Wow, Eastenders has gone downhill a bit’ I thought to myself. However, I appeared to have stumbled across quite possibly the most potent example of dumb TV currently broadcast- The Jeremy Kyle Show. But, what is it about our population that makes the desperate and desolate stories of life’s rejects so interesting to watch? What is it about our culture that means we take some perverse pleasure in other people’s misery? Why do we choose to spend our free time watching the nation’s failures frantically defending themselves from the truth they refuse to accept? Will this speech ever stop asking questions and actually answer some? Well here is a well documented fact for you- a slug would give those who choose to participate in this showcase of idiots a run for their money in an IQ test.
So what is it about ‘easy watching’ that draws us in and encourages us to devote large quantities of our life which could be put to otherwise better causes? There has been an earthquake in Chile; HIV AIDS still rules in Africa. And exactly how much do we care? Answer: We don’t- now shut up and watch the TV.
The truth is though, the more TV one watches- the more mind-numbingly dull ‘entertainment’ you subject yourself to- the more one comes to realise that really and truly, most TV is either dumb or boring (the latter including such bores as the National History channel). So this leads onto another unanswerable question (this speech is rapidly become more and more Zen) - why do we choose to watch TV full stop? At which point in our evolution did consumption of time wasting material come to be important? Is it that dumb TV provides a welcome distraction from the doom and gloom of our everyday lives and today’s society? It could be suggested that it is hard to feel sorry for yourself having watched an overweight, stinking sleaze bag professing their outrage to the world about the injustice of them being dumped, having slept with around 7 people of varying gender in one night- that our own lives problems pale in comparison to the self proclaimed morons on TV.
And so, having drawn to no conclusions and successfully acquired splinters in our bums from sitting on the fence, we draw the speech to a close- secure in the knowledge that we have dodged the answering of any questions whatsoever.
So what is it about ‘easy watching’ that draws us in and encourages us to devote large quantities of our life which could be put to otherwise better causes? There has been an earthquake in Chile; HIV AIDS still rules in Africa. And exactly how much do we care? Answer: We don’t- now shut up and watch the TV.
The truth is though, the more TV one watches- the more mind-numbingly dull ‘entertainment’ you subject yourself to- the more one comes to realise that really and truly, most TV is either dumb or boring (the latter including such bores as the National History channel). So this leads onto another unanswerable question (this speech is rapidly become more and more Zen) - why do we choose to watch TV full stop? At which point in our evolution did consumption of time wasting material come to be important? Is it that dumb TV provides a welcome distraction from the doom and gloom of our everyday lives and today’s society? It could be suggested that it is hard to feel sorry for yourself having watched an overweight, stinking sleaze bag professing their outrage to the world about the injustice of them being dumped, having slept with around 7 people of varying gender in one night- that our own lives problems pale in comparison to the self proclaimed morons on TV.
And so, having drawn to no conclusions and successfully acquired splinters in our bums from sitting on the fence, we draw the speech to a close- secure in the knowledge that we have dodged the answering of any questions whatsoever.
Again, please mail me with an example of your writing, and your Skype.
Thanks,
Sweetdeath
