Well firstly, when reading your post it does seem like you're indeed either being groomed or very lucky to have caring tribe members (bleh).
How many incomings do you have, and are they actually attacking or supporting incoming. Either way you're definetly entitled to mail that person asking what's their business in sending troops to you (again, could you say if they're attacking or supporting...).
Although I'd go with Kriegselend, if you've been tricked and groomed by someone(s) and you still want to keep your current village(s) then you've better start pumping out offensive troops, dodge attacks and try backtiming them if neccesary.