DeletedUser
Guest
Hello everyone.
I've always hoped that this day would come when I was one step ahead of the game, but alas, events dictate that I am one step behind.
I'm afraid my time has come to quit Tribal Wars.
Those of you who know me closest will know that I am a reluctant leader who often stated that he hoped to step down. Despite this, whilst my tribe still needed me, I saw it as my duty to serve them - they put trust in me, and I do my best by them. However, my desire to step has recently become a necessity.
Two weeks ago, I was diagnosed with manic depression and the early stages of schizophrenia.
This, in itself, is not the issue - I had a co-player and two co-Dukes, and I've managed to survive for 23 years hotly debating topics to myself and generally being a mardy sod. That said, I have been given some medication which is absolutely horrendous - I cannot possibly describe all of its effects (which I'm told will subside balance of chemicals in my brain is used to it) but right now I am rash and unbalanced, I talk far too fast for the thick accents of North East Derbyshire to be comprehendible in, I sleep for around 3 hours a night and yet I'm full of energy, and yet I suffer from abhorent cramp and a permanent feel of being hung-over.
The worst of all though is the wildly fluctuating moods. Usually, I'd like to think I'm unflappable and indifferent to most things, but recently I have not been myself, and it is getting very worrying.
Take, for example, one of my PA's, Gypsyvixcent, leaving for Che!!!. Most people may be marginally upset but realise that it changes very little between our friendship. My reaction was to curl up and cry to myself on the bathroom floor.
I knew this was not a normal response, and prehaps should have taken some time out. However, at the time we had some ongoing qualms with LRAG, and with me being a bit of a control freak (what?? My Mum's German . . . and my Dad's Singaporean - an odd combination, but a combination nonetheless) and . . . ur, where was I? Oh yeah, so we had a bit of a squabble with LRAG, which soon developed into a full-blown war.
It had the potential to be a nice little war, and yet whilst I had the tribes tactics and target sorted out, I simply failed to put them into place for no other reason than that I just was not enthused - not a quality for a Duke to ever display, and had the war continued, -ODA- would have suffered because of this.
With the W1N-Che!!! merge, both myself and FatTaff agreed that weakening ouselves against each other was an ill-advised move in a notably more hostile world and, whilst agreeing to a peace, agreed to merge both LRAG and -ODA- together to become a new powerful rim family tribe.
Herein lied my salvation, a tribe ran by FatTaff and Irjoney, allowing me to protect -ODA- one last time, say my goodbyes, and offer my villages to be internalled.
So desperate was I to get this move done that I did not consult the tribes council, expecting them to put blind faith in me - -ODA- are justly proud of their tribe, and presenting the proposal to the tribe would have resulted in a delay, when I was absolutely desperate to leave.
Yesterday evening, the merge was to go ahead, and whilst most went to join LRAG, -ODA- 's top 10 left to join Flux, and later more have followed.
I have ruined -ODA- through my own reasons for wanting to leave, and whilst I do not ask for forgiveness, I ask for their understanding.
I do not believe that I have left much of a legacy for the ammount of hours I have put into Tribal Wars, but at all times I have done my best, and I have no regrets. I have made so many great friends here, and I cannot express how much I will miss you all, especially the old Avaz crew (who will be back with me on W5)
All the best,
Kilroy
I've always hoped that this day would come when I was one step ahead of the game, but alas, events dictate that I am one step behind.
I'm afraid my time has come to quit Tribal Wars.
Those of you who know me closest will know that I am a reluctant leader who often stated that he hoped to step down. Despite this, whilst my tribe still needed me, I saw it as my duty to serve them - they put trust in me, and I do my best by them. However, my desire to step has recently become a necessity.
Two weeks ago, I was diagnosed with manic depression and the early stages of schizophrenia.
This, in itself, is not the issue - I had a co-player and two co-Dukes, and I've managed to survive for 23 years hotly debating topics to myself and generally being a mardy sod. That said, I have been given some medication which is absolutely horrendous - I cannot possibly describe all of its effects (which I'm told will subside balance of chemicals in my brain is used to it) but right now I am rash and unbalanced, I talk far too fast for the thick accents of North East Derbyshire to be comprehendible in, I sleep for around 3 hours a night and yet I'm full of energy, and yet I suffer from abhorent cramp and a permanent feel of being hung-over.
The worst of all though is the wildly fluctuating moods. Usually, I'd like to think I'm unflappable and indifferent to most things, but recently I have not been myself, and it is getting very worrying.
Take, for example, one of my PA's, Gypsyvixcent, leaving for Che!!!. Most people may be marginally upset but realise that it changes very little between our friendship. My reaction was to curl up and cry to myself on the bathroom floor.
I knew this was not a normal response, and prehaps should have taken some time out. However, at the time we had some ongoing qualms with LRAG, and with me being a bit of a control freak (what?? My Mum's German . . . and my Dad's Singaporean - an odd combination, but a combination nonetheless) and . . . ur, where was I? Oh yeah, so we had a bit of a squabble with LRAG, which soon developed into a full-blown war.
It had the potential to be a nice little war, and yet whilst I had the tribes tactics and target sorted out, I simply failed to put them into place for no other reason than that I just was not enthused - not a quality for a Duke to ever display, and had the war continued, -ODA- would have suffered because of this.
With the W1N-Che!!! merge, both myself and FatTaff agreed that weakening ouselves against each other was an ill-advised move in a notably more hostile world and, whilst agreeing to a peace, agreed to merge both LRAG and -ODA- together to become a new powerful rim family tribe.
Herein lied my salvation, a tribe ran by FatTaff and Irjoney, allowing me to protect -ODA- one last time, say my goodbyes, and offer my villages to be internalled.
So desperate was I to get this move done that I did not consult the tribes council, expecting them to put blind faith in me - -ODA- are justly proud of their tribe, and presenting the proposal to the tribe would have resulted in a delay, when I was absolutely desperate to leave.
Yesterday evening, the merge was to go ahead, and whilst most went to join LRAG, -ODA- 's top 10 left to join Flux, and later more have followed.
I have ruined -ODA- through my own reasons for wanting to leave, and whilst I do not ask for forgiveness, I ask for their understanding.
I do not believe that I have left much of a legacy for the ammount of hours I have put into Tribal Wars, but at all times I have done my best, and I have no regrets. I have made so many great friends here, and I cannot express how much I will miss you all, especially the old Avaz crew (who will be back with me on W5)
All the best,
Kilroy
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