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My compliments to TC
The tribe is now at war with The Commitments!
War name: Captains Briefing
Declaration:
Star date 2345678987654321.44444444444442222222222.44444444444444444 oh sod it
Listen Guys its been a hell of a night we been chasing The Borg across time and space all night and with Mr Worf insisting that the Romulan ale would help keep us awake which clearly only works on Klingons the latest report about carl197 of Borg is not encouraging .
Now those stupid glorified Rubic cube ticklers have jump back in time to the middle ages and set up on a planet classified as a UK16 world we need to remove them from this world but that would mean breaking the prime directive.
We need to find a answer and quickly before my hangover kicks in, Mr. LaForge, have you had any success with your attempts at finding a weakness in the Borg? And have you been able to access their command pathways?
Yes, Captain. In fact, I found the answer by searching through our archives on late twentieth-century computing technology and I believe the answer is a product called Microsoft
What the hell is a “Microsoft”? Mr LaForge!
I will try and explain Captain the best I can We will send this program, for some reason called “Windows,” through the Borg command pathways.
Once inside their root command unit, it will begin consuming system resources at an unstoppable rate and should slow them down enough for us to nip down and zap their cubic asses.
Sounds very primitive to me and the Borg have the ability to adapt. Won’t they alter their processing systems to increase their storage capacity?
Yes, Captain. But when the “Windows program” detects this, it creates a new version of itself known as an “upgrade.” The use of resources increases exponentially with each upgrade.
The Borg will not be able to adapt quickly enough. Eventually all of their processing ability will be taken over and none will be available for their normal operational functions.
Excellent work
Captain, We have successfully installed the “Windows” in the command unit, and as expected, it immediately consumed 85% of all resources. An increase in Borg storage and CPU capacity to compensate is being picked up by our scanners, but we are just waiting for the“upgrade” to kick in to compensate for their increase but we keep getting a message saying system upgrade has failed.
Oh come on guys I can feel the Hangover coming on, for the love of all that is holy in this universe can we scan the history banks again and determine if there is something we missed.
Sir we have a problem, The reason for the failure in the “upgrade”. Apparently the Borg have circumvented that part of the plan by not sending in their Microsoft registration cards so no update will be available.
Oh great you infect them with a system that requires a piece of card to be posted so the upgrading can start to slow them down and they are sat on a world that is still 2000 years away from having a postal service!!!!!!!!!!!
Get me some authentic medieval costumes from the dodgy wardrobe department and meet me in transporter room 4.
Sir! what are you planning to do.
We are going down there and taking over a tribe then we will declare war and get all medieval on their collective processing units and do it the old fashioned way and somebody grab some more Romulan ale please...
The tribe is now at war with The Commitments!
War name: Captains Briefing
Declaration:
Star date 2345678987654321.44444444444442222222222.44444444444444444 oh sod it
Listen Guys its been a hell of a night we been chasing The Borg across time and space all night and with Mr Worf insisting that the Romulan ale would help keep us awake which clearly only works on Klingons the latest report about carl197 of Borg is not encouraging .
Now those stupid glorified Rubic cube ticklers have jump back in time to the middle ages and set up on a planet classified as a UK16 world we need to remove them from this world but that would mean breaking the prime directive.
We need to find a answer and quickly before my hangover kicks in, Mr. LaForge, have you had any success with your attempts at finding a weakness in the Borg? And have you been able to access their command pathways?
Yes, Captain. In fact, I found the answer by searching through our archives on late twentieth-century computing technology and I believe the answer is a product called Microsoft
What the hell is a “Microsoft”? Mr LaForge!
I will try and explain Captain the best I can We will send this program, for some reason called “Windows,” through the Borg command pathways.
Once inside their root command unit, it will begin consuming system resources at an unstoppable rate and should slow them down enough for us to nip down and zap their cubic asses.
Sounds very primitive to me and the Borg have the ability to adapt. Won’t they alter their processing systems to increase their storage capacity?
Yes, Captain. But when the “Windows program” detects this, it creates a new version of itself known as an “upgrade.” The use of resources increases exponentially with each upgrade.
The Borg will not be able to adapt quickly enough. Eventually all of their processing ability will be taken over and none will be available for their normal operational functions.
Excellent work
Captain, We have successfully installed the “Windows” in the command unit, and as expected, it immediately consumed 85% of all resources. An increase in Borg storage and CPU capacity to compensate is being picked up by our scanners, but we are just waiting for the“upgrade” to kick in to compensate for their increase but we keep getting a message saying system upgrade has failed.
Oh come on guys I can feel the Hangover coming on, for the love of all that is holy in this universe can we scan the history banks again and determine if there is something we missed.
Sir we have a problem, The reason for the failure in the “upgrade”. Apparently the Borg have circumvented that part of the plan by not sending in their Microsoft registration cards so no update will be available.
Oh great you infect them with a system that requires a piece of card to be posted so the upgrading can start to slow them down and they are sat on a world that is still 2000 years away from having a postal service!!!!!!!!!!!
Get me some authentic medieval costumes from the dodgy wardrobe department and meet me in transporter room 4.
Sir! what are you planning to do.
We are going down there and taking over a tribe then we will declare war and get all medieval on their collective processing units and do it the old fashioned way and somebody grab some more Romulan ale please...