DeletedUser5582
Guest
Ok is a longer version than normal so will post in smaller chunks! Was mentioned a while back that maybe UK3 should be decided by a football match (rubbish idea as personally hate roundball but meh)
But did think um what if such a match took place!
So got typing! Hope you enjoy
Chapter two coming very soon!
But did think um what if such a match took place!
So got typing! Hope you enjoy
Ok so has been mentioned that a football match be done between TFF and the Shroud Wearers so I of course got the TFF cameras out and about to see how such a match would play out!
Now I know only one football fact so bear with me on this and thank you to those that helped me with the terminology. Of course this is fictional but would like to thank W3's newest tribe JoSux who kindly sponsored the match programme!
Disclaimer: None of this is real!
So ladies and gentlefolk welcome to City of Sepulchre Stadium home of Shroud Wearers FC for the match between the table toppers TFF United and perennial also rans Shroud Wearers FC! Not since Dec 1914 has such a match been done and am sure today history will be made (sort of)
So as our camera swoops (is an oldie but I like it) over the ground we can see the crowd begin to swell and as I head into the commentary box have been handed the team sheets as the TFF coach rolls in!
Down in the Away changing room Manager Reggie unloads a few lorry loads of tactic notes and sets up his chalk board for the game ahead. Checking his copious notes he begins to scribble furiously not noticing The Dan levitating in through the door whilst humming the Flight of the Condor to himself for his new CD entitled “ The Dan Hums the Cheesy Shopping Centre Classics” which will be in Amazon bargain bucket bins shortly. The Dan seeing Reggie's tactic sheet (which makes Gibbons Rise and Fall of The Roman Empire look like a note left by the milkman) turns a tad pale and rummages in his kitbag for some ear muffs. The rest of the TFF team wander in...
The Ed has found his old school football kit from the 1930's and eying Reggie's chalk board hopefully starts warming up by sipping some Ovaltine and rubbing himself with Tiger Balm (Mitchnom goes blind). Larger than Expected Dan is rushing around with his I Heart Scotland strip gabbling about Archie Gemmel (Note: I have no idea who archie gemmel is but apparently is a legend in scottish roundball?!) The Second Coming of The Power limbers up by drinking some beers and Whitey is screaming at himself in the mirror and trying to offload some clay. Stefan is hugging himself and the two Fanatiks are snoozing each with one eye open in the corner.
Reggie's glamorous assistant wanders in with another pile of notes which she stashes under some coats hoping he won't notice and then sits down dreaming up better names for her UK9 acc....
Gary is calmly ordering his kit and making sure all is place and neat and tidy and Groundman is hurriedly checking the turf outside and tutting at the use of only two grass strains and lack of sheep urine (mail him about this as am saying no more about Dave and his lawn cures) as Zam plays Ping Pong in the corner dreaming of cake. Rizzles covered in bruises plots revenge with Billy and Skip whilst Lemon preps the TFF half time fare (popcorn not allowed).
Over in the Home dressing room things are not going quite so well..... AcheronOne strides in with his American Football Gear on (name tags sown in by his Mum) with a Ferret on his shoulder with a sack labeled sword fakes and expecting his minions to gaze at him adoringly as usual is shocked to see them start laughing at him. Plonking down his sits on the inactive subs bench AcheronOne pulls out his team talk and switches off his Hot Girls thread to make sure they listen to him. “Dang it Guys you're not even dressed properly for this tussle with them there TFF nubs where are your helmets and shoulder pads as we don;t wanna get hurt and these guys play rough?”
“um boss is proper football not the stop start game in the states?” says siroXel26 putting down his Barb Nobling For Beginners handbook and glancing enviously at his signed poster of Trairii2d on the wall. “Is what you guys called soccer which may explain why you are slightly overdressed!”
“what!” roared AcheronOne scaring his furry co from his shoulder to scamper inside his trousers for safety (Mitchnom goes blind) “have they tricked me again! Yesterday they had me building nukes with just 1 sp and now they say football and mean soccer! Damn them Damn them all! No matter we can beat them at soccer” and hurling his helmet onto the floor he raised an eyebrow at Mr. Chief who was nervously flicking through What Marriage décor magazine and pretending he understood and whispered “this is the game with the offside rule so could you explain please?”
4hrs later
“really” said AcheronOne “ok so that sounds simple enough ok guys lets get ready to do this ok so positions who wants to be in defense and watched aghast as all of Death immediately raised their hands. “No some of us have to be upfront! Dang it ok I'll go up front and IamNotRussian (see what I did there huh!) And Hylander with me as you can goal hang as normal. Sorry what did you say SilentWarrior?”
“I said I'm scared “
“speak up” yelled the shroud wearers and Silent warrior merely shook his head and shuffled his feet.
“right goalkeeper? Um how about Siro” grumbled AcheronOne
“no too weedy and gets distracted by Triarri too easily so if in shorts could be a disaster for us” said Mondeao
“Chiefy?” suggested Brochan lying on the bench gasping as a new player was being inserted into his battered frame'
“um no too strung out about what invite cards to send out minds not on the job” sighed AcheronOne dragging Furry out of his trousers and placing him on the floor
“Not Mastered Counting” said Siro day dreaming about being taken seriously
“too deleted” snarled AcheronOne
“I'll go in goal “ said SilentWarrior but no one paid him any attention and eventually it was decided that Nina, Tobytyke, New Brochan, Mastered Counting Star and the oddly named GrahamPaulKelly would all go in goal and lie on top of one another in a giant stack to keep it safe.
“Ok” said AcheronOne warming to his task, “soccer is easy so we stack the goal and all will be well. Myself and IamNotRussian and Hylander will be up front say by the centre circle and the rest of you if you see a TFF player just jump on each other in a giant heap capiche!”
“CAPICHE” roared the Shroud Wearers (well except SilentWarrior) who noiselessly nipped over to the snack bar and munching on a young barb whispered “capiche “
Now I know only one football fact so bear with me on this and thank you to those that helped me with the terminology. Of course this is fictional but would like to thank W3's newest tribe JoSux who kindly sponsored the match programme!
Disclaimer: None of this is real!
So ladies and gentlefolk welcome to City of Sepulchre Stadium home of Shroud Wearers FC for the match between the table toppers TFF United and perennial also rans Shroud Wearers FC! Not since Dec 1914 has such a match been done and am sure today history will be made (sort of)
So as our camera swoops (is an oldie but I like it) over the ground we can see the crowd begin to swell and as I head into the commentary box have been handed the team sheets as the TFF coach rolls in!
Down in the Away changing room Manager Reggie unloads a few lorry loads of tactic notes and sets up his chalk board for the game ahead. Checking his copious notes he begins to scribble furiously not noticing The Dan levitating in through the door whilst humming the Flight of the Condor to himself for his new CD entitled “ The Dan Hums the Cheesy Shopping Centre Classics” which will be in Amazon bargain bucket bins shortly. The Dan seeing Reggie's tactic sheet (which makes Gibbons Rise and Fall of The Roman Empire look like a note left by the milkman) turns a tad pale and rummages in his kitbag for some ear muffs. The rest of the TFF team wander in...
The Ed has found his old school football kit from the 1930's and eying Reggie's chalk board hopefully starts warming up by sipping some Ovaltine and rubbing himself with Tiger Balm (Mitchnom goes blind). Larger than Expected Dan is rushing around with his I Heart Scotland strip gabbling about Archie Gemmel (Note: I have no idea who archie gemmel is but apparently is a legend in scottish roundball?!) The Second Coming of The Power limbers up by drinking some beers and Whitey is screaming at himself in the mirror and trying to offload some clay. Stefan is hugging himself and the two Fanatiks are snoozing each with one eye open in the corner.
Reggie's glamorous assistant wanders in with another pile of notes which she stashes under some coats hoping he won't notice and then sits down dreaming up better names for her UK9 acc....
Gary is calmly ordering his kit and making sure all is place and neat and tidy and Groundman is hurriedly checking the turf outside and tutting at the use of only two grass strains and lack of sheep urine (mail him about this as am saying no more about Dave and his lawn cures) as Zam plays Ping Pong in the corner dreaming of cake. Rizzles covered in bruises plots revenge with Billy and Skip whilst Lemon preps the TFF half time fare (popcorn not allowed).
Over in the Home dressing room things are not going quite so well..... AcheronOne strides in with his American Football Gear on (name tags sown in by his Mum) with a Ferret on his shoulder with a sack labeled sword fakes and expecting his minions to gaze at him adoringly as usual is shocked to see them start laughing at him. Plonking down his sits on the inactive subs bench AcheronOne pulls out his team talk and switches off his Hot Girls thread to make sure they listen to him. “Dang it Guys you're not even dressed properly for this tussle with them there TFF nubs where are your helmets and shoulder pads as we don;t wanna get hurt and these guys play rough?”
“um boss is proper football not the stop start game in the states?” says siroXel26 putting down his Barb Nobling For Beginners handbook and glancing enviously at his signed poster of Trairii2d on the wall. “Is what you guys called soccer which may explain why you are slightly overdressed!”
“what!” roared AcheronOne scaring his furry co from his shoulder to scamper inside his trousers for safety (Mitchnom goes blind) “have they tricked me again! Yesterday they had me building nukes with just 1 sp and now they say football and mean soccer! Damn them Damn them all! No matter we can beat them at soccer” and hurling his helmet onto the floor he raised an eyebrow at Mr. Chief who was nervously flicking through What Marriage décor magazine and pretending he understood and whispered “this is the game with the offside rule so could you explain please?”
4hrs later
“really” said AcheronOne “ok so that sounds simple enough ok guys lets get ready to do this ok so positions who wants to be in defense and watched aghast as all of Death immediately raised their hands. “No some of us have to be upfront! Dang it ok I'll go up front and IamNotRussian (see what I did there huh!) And Hylander with me as you can goal hang as normal. Sorry what did you say SilentWarrior?”
“I said I'm scared “
“speak up” yelled the shroud wearers and Silent warrior merely shook his head and shuffled his feet.
“right goalkeeper? Um how about Siro” grumbled AcheronOne
“no too weedy and gets distracted by Triarri too easily so if in shorts could be a disaster for us” said Mondeao
“Chiefy?” suggested Brochan lying on the bench gasping as a new player was being inserted into his battered frame'
“um no too strung out about what invite cards to send out minds not on the job” sighed AcheronOne dragging Furry out of his trousers and placing him on the floor
“Not Mastered Counting” said Siro day dreaming about being taken seriously
“too deleted” snarled AcheronOne
“I'll go in goal “ said SilentWarrior but no one paid him any attention and eventually it was decided that Nina, Tobytyke, New Brochan, Mastered Counting Star and the oddly named GrahamPaulKelly would all go in goal and lie on top of one another in a giant stack to keep it safe.
“Ok” said AcheronOne warming to his task, “soccer is easy so we stack the goal and all will be well. Myself and IamNotRussian and Hylander will be up front say by the centre circle and the rest of you if you see a TFF player just jump on each other in a giant heap capiche!”
“CAPICHE” roared the Shroud Wearers (well except SilentWarrior) who noiselessly nipped over to the snack bar and munching on a young barb whispered “capiche “
Chapter two coming very soon!
