Voting for the Valentines Pig: Poetry

Discussion in 'General' started by marcus the mad, Mar 9, 2019.

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Pick the one you enjoyed most

Poll closed Mar 19, 2019.
  1. General-Richa

    3 vote(s)
  2. Ghost In The Machine

    1 vote(s)
  3. yorkshirelad91

    3 vote(s)
  1. marcus the mad

    marcus the mad Senior Forum General Staff Member Administrator

    Jul 1, 2013
    Likes Received:
    1) General-Richa

    There once lived a romantic old pig,

    One weekend she donned stilettos and wig,

    To celebrate Chinese New Year

    She went out on the beer

    & on the dancefloor she did quite the jig.

    Now if you’ve never seen a pig on the beer,

    Trust me when I say it looked quite queer,

    Because to see a pig do a jig

    In stilettos and wig

    ...Well, it’s not something I’d publicly cheer

    Thing is, there’s someone for us all,

    So whilst casual observers were (mostly) appalled,

    From the corner of the room

    Not a moment too soon

    Emerged the pigs’ newest admirer... Big Paul.

    Now, the sight that for most was a fright,

    To this dashing Romeo was in fact a delight

    You see, Pauls a butcher by trade

    So these 2 have it made

    As Pauls having bacon tonight!

    2) Ghost in the Machine

    Roses are red
    Violets are blue
    Your pig had a tapeworm
    And now so do you.

    3) yorkshirelad91

    The challenge has been set to think of a rhyme,
    a much better use of my tribal wars time
    We’re ok with love, and the Chinese New Year,
    The issue is the pig and how we squeeze it in here.

    A verse for each, is all you will get
    And all you deserve, but let’s not regret
    What happened in the year of the rat
    For now it’s the pig and the end of all that.

    My co is a veggie, so won’t appreciate the pork,
    I could eat it for the rest of my life, just get me a fork.
    Every 12 year cycle, the pig reappears
    A symbol of wealth and spiritualism, with its pink floppy ears
    Pigs live on the farm, or sometimes in a house made of brick,
    Go to the butchers and order your bacon extra thick.
    Gamechanging doesn’t get close to describing your delight.
    According to the fortune cookie the year is only going to be ‘alright’

    Valentine’s, is the waste of time and everybody’s money.
    Special plans usually fail, last year I ended up smothered in honey
    You try to be Romantic, Kinky, experiment in fancy dress
    At this point you’ll do anything to try and impress.
    The busiest day of the year for men to get down on one knee
    Recipe for disaster, run away now, if you ask me.
    Cupid flies around, firing arrows from his magic bow
    Fabricating true love, matching soulmates? We may never know

    We’re all only here for the pp and the winning flag
    Apologies this poem is beginning to drag
    There is only one more verse, still yet to follow
    You guys should join w40, OLDS defence is still very hollow

    Now to wrap this up, in the easiest way we can,
    And stop talking about valentines to stay clear of a ban,
    Zodiac claims this year will be average, but to that I say no way!
    The year can be amazing, if that’s what you want, thank you for reading and have a nice day :)