Voting for the Valentines Pig: Poetry

Pick the one you enjoyed most

  • General-Richa

    Votes: 3 42.9%
  • Ghost In The Machine

    Votes: 1 14.3%
  • yorkshirelad91

    Votes: 3 42.9%

  • Total voters
  • Poll closed .

Marcus the Mad

Senior Forum General
Staff member
1) General-Richa

There once lived a romantic old pig,

One weekend she donned stilettos and wig,

To celebrate Chinese New Year

She went out on the beer

& on the dancefloor she did quite the jig.

Now if you’ve never seen a pig on the beer,

Trust me when I say it looked quite queer,

Because to see a pig do a jig

In stilettos and wig

...Well, it’s not something I’d publicly cheer

Thing is, there’s someone for us all,

So whilst casual observers were (mostly) appalled,

From the corner of the room

Not a moment too soon

Emerged the pigs’ newest admirer... Big Paul.

Now, the sight that for most was a fright,

To this dashing Romeo was in fact a delight

You see, Pauls a butcher by trade

So these 2 have it made

As Pauls having bacon tonight!

2) Ghost in the Machine

Roses are red
Violets are blue
Your pig had a tapeworm
And now so do you.

3) yorkshirelad91

The challenge has been set to think of a rhyme,
a much better use of my tribal wars time
We’re ok with love, and the Chinese New Year,
The issue is the pig and how we squeeze it in here.

A verse for each, is all you will get
And all you deserve, but let’s not regret
What happened in the year of the rat
For now it’s the pig and the end of all that.

My co is a veggie, so won’t appreciate the pork,
I could eat it for the rest of my life, just get me a fork.
Every 12 year cycle, the pig reappears
A symbol of wealth and spiritualism, with its pink floppy ears
Pigs live on the farm, or sometimes in a house made of brick,
Go to the butchers and order your bacon extra thick.
Gamechanging doesn’t get close to describing your delight.
According to the fortune cookie the year is only going to be ‘alright’

Valentine’s, is the waste of time and everybody’s money.
Special plans usually fail, last year I ended up smothered in honey
You try to be Romantic, Kinky, experiment in fancy dress
At this point you’ll do anything to try and impress.
The busiest day of the year for men to get down on one knee
Recipe for disaster, run away now, if you ask me.
Cupid flies around, firing arrows from his magic bow
Fabricating true love, matching soulmates? We may never know

We’re all only here for the pp and the winning flag
Apologies this poem is beginning to drag
There is only one more verse, still yet to follow
You guys should join w40, OLDS defence is still very hollow

Now to wrap this up, in the easiest way we can,
And stop talking about valentines to stay clear of a ban,
Zodiac claims this year will be average, but to that I say no way!
The year can be amazing, if that’s what you want, thank you for reading and have a nice day :)